Weak and Strong Views of Acceptance and Peace

The following Musing is drawn from the beginning of chapter 8 of my “Let’s Talk” book titled “Followers of Jesus Creating Inclusive Conversations Within Churches.”

As I gather with friends for coffee and cookies after the Sunday morning worship service at my home church we often talk about the Cubs or the Twins (with me trying to slip in a few good words about my Cardinals) or the upcoming snowstorm or the latest happenings in our small town.

But we judiciously avoid talking about some hot-button issues about which we know there is significant disagreement within our diverse congregation—issues like same-sex marriage or political affiliation/engagement.

Of course, such lighthearted banter among friends is good. But it is problematic if at our church we never talk about our strong disagreements concerning difficult issues because we have embraced weak views of the Christian values of acceptance and peace instead of stronger views that have the potential to lead to deeper acceptance and more meaningful peace.

I applaud those church congregations who have made a commitment to the core Christian value of acceptance. One such church that I know well has been criticized as the church where “anyone can go.” That should be taken as a compliment. But I present two challenges for such churches.

First, it is too easy for the word acceptance to be interpreted in a very weak sense as mere tolerance. To illustrate this caution more concretely: A church may accept both gay and straight members and yet harbor sentiments among some of its members such as, “It is OK if those gay Christians worship with us, but once they are given positions of church leadership, I’m leaving for another church.” (This is an actual quote from a member of a church that has admirably committed itself to the core value of acceptance).

Secondly, it is too easy for a church that is committed to a core value of acceptance to interpret a related admirable commitment to the value of peace in the weak sense of absence of conflict, with the effect that those who worship at that church keep the peace by not talking to each other about their disagreements.

So, while I applaud Christian churches that claim commitment to the Christian values of acceptance and peace, I want to challenge these gatherings of Christ-followers to aspire to stronger manifestations of acceptance and peace, as follows:

First, I believe that the word acceptance is too weak since it is too easily interpreted as only coexistence, sometimes in the extremely anemic sense of just putting up with someone. I prefer to think in terms of belonging.

As a Christian, I should help every other follower of Jesus in our group of believers to experience a strong sense of belonging. By this I mean that the other is received as one who is beloved. We should love everyone because everyone is loved by God. Therefore, the idea of just putting up with the married lesbian couple who attend our church is pernicious. Rather, out of love, we should get to know them, which starts by empathetically listening to their stories of the ways in which they have attempted to be followers of Jesus and the enormous obstacles they have faced during that quest.

Secondly, in a related way, all Christian churches need to move beyond a weak negative view of peace as absence of conflict to a strong view of peace as shalom: a state of affairs where everyone in the church community is flourishing in the midst of their diversity. Such flourishing precludes silencing anyone. Rather, it understands that we will flourish together only if we listen respectfully to each other’s stories of the ways in which we aspire to be faithful followers of Jesus and the differing challenges that we have faced. In other words, we do not flourish when we suppress our disagreements. Rather, we flourish when we get our disagreements out on the table and talk respectfully about them, thereby opening up the possibility of learning from one another.

As you should expect by now from my previous Musings, there is a foundational premise that underlies my challenge to Christian churches to move from weak to strong views of acceptance and peace. All Christians agree that Jesus calls those who claim to be his followers to love others (Mark 12:31). But too many Christians ignore or violate a particular deep expression of such neighbor-love. As already stated, my foundational premise is that to create a safe and welcoming space for someone who disagrees with you to express that disagreement and to then talk respectfully about your disagreement is a deep expression of love.

But how can Christian churches put into practice a commitment to strong views of acceptance and peace? My proposal for your consideration will be presented in my next and final Musing in this series.

Subscribing to be Notified of New Musings

To eliminate the inconvenience of readers having to periodically check the top of my website to see if I have posted a new Musing, my Web Manager, Dan Hefferan, is creating a procedural change that will automatically inform interested readers that a new posting (a new Musing) now appears at the top of my Home Page.

If you wish to subscribe to this new service, please submit your email in the form below, and then check your email to confirm your subscription. Then, when a new musing has been posted to Respectful Conversation, you’ll receive a copy of it in your email!

Subscribe to Receive New Musings to your inbox

* indicates required

Forthcoming Book

As of July 31, our ecumenical conversation on what highly regarded representatives of twelve Christian traditions believe worshippers in their traditions mean when they aspire to be “followers of Jesus” has been completed. One of our conversation partners (CPs), Randall Balmer of Dartmouth College, my very helpful consultant for this project, concluded that “the year-long conversation was a smashing success.”

As indicated in the “Overview” document that can be accessed below, the next step for this project is to capture the highlights of this conversation in a book that is tentatively titled “Following Jesus: Perspectives from Twelve Christian Traditions.”  A first draft of this book is close to completion.

My current plan is to submit a Book Proposal to one or more potential Christian publishing houses by early October. I will let readers of this website know the results of this publishing exploration.

Harold Heie

Twelve Month Electronic Conversation starting on August 1, 2021

Following Jesus: Perspectives from Diverse Christian Traditions

Moderator: Harold Heie

Twelve Month Agenda

Leading Question for the first of the month (Directed to the conversation partner for the tradition being featured for the month)

What are the various views of those who worship in your tradition as to what it means to “follow Jesus” and what is the primary view?

Leading Question for the 15th of the month postings (Directed to the other eleven conversation partners)

What major agreements and disagreements do you have with the views expressed in the posting of the conversation partner who submitted the first of the month posting as to what it means to “follow Jesus,” and what have you learned from that posting that has the potential to enrich, or possibly provide a corrective, to the primary view of those who worship in your tradition as to what it means to “follow Jesus?”

Leading Question for the final day of the month posting (Directed to the conversation partner being featured for the month)

As you review the eleven 15th of the month postings from the other conversation partners, what were the main things you learned from other traditions that will be helpful to those who worship in your tradition as they seek to faithfully follow Jesus into the future

Readers of this website can participate in this conversation by submitting a comment (Reply) at the bottom of any posting (see the “Comment Policy” below).